Your 'no' may be a 'yes' to yourself

Lately, a prevailing thought has been lingering in my mind, gaining prominence as we approach this part of the year. In conversations with people from various organisations nationwide, the recurring terms 'tired' and 'burnt out' have taken center stage when discussing their journeys. This year, in my role providing supervision, feels distinctly different from the others. Frequent reminders from individuals reflect that time has swiftly passed, leaving many unprepared for what lies ahead. As they share their stories, it becomes evident that reaching the finish line has become a survival mission, with critical strategies in place just to make it through.

For unspecified reasons, fatigue seems more prevalent than usual, and the prospect of Christmas events, end-of-school-year festivities, celebrations, and family gatherings has proven overwhelming for many we've encountered.

Reflecting on the past few years, my husband and I decided to hit the brakes during the Christmas season. We witnessed too many close to us operating at unsustainable paces, prompting us to reassess our priorities. For some individuals, this time of year involves mental preparation to engage with people tied to unpleasant experiences, potentially leading to retraumatisation and a state of anxiety or fight-or-flight during the holiday period. Unfortunately this doesn’t provide them with the rest and rejuvenation required into the new year.

This year, we've taken a cue from the past and extended our commitment to saying 'no' to more, allowing us to wholeheartedly say 'yes' to other essential aspects of life—like recharging and slowing down. It's about doing things that bring us joy, being in nature, being spontaneous, laughing and having fun but, most importantly, saying 'yes' to activities and people that genuinely refuel our spirits.

A poignant conversation with a client this year highlighted the notion of choice. Initially feeling bound to a default response that they 'didn't have a choice' regarding how they experienced the holiday period, a sense of relief washed over them upon realising that, indeed, they were in control and could say ‘no’ to things that zapped them of their energy.

As we approach this time of the year and, hopefully, find some downtime, I encourage you to conduct a stocktake of your 'yes' and 'no' decisions. These boundaries, carefully crafted by you, serve as protective measures. Cherish and hold them closely as you navigate the season, and may your choices be empowering and rejuvenating.

Some thoughts to consider:

Reflecting on the year's end, what kind of experience do you envision for yourself?

By the close of January 2024, what emotions do you aspire to be experiencing?

In order to prioritise self-care, are there aspects of my life to which I can confidently say no?

As a family, are there commitments we've embraced that compromise our collective need for rejuvenation?